Wednesday 1 February 9 st, alcohol units 9, cigarettes 28 (but will soon give up for Lent so might as well smoke self into disgusted smoking frenzy), calories 3826.

Spent the weekend struggling to remain disdainfully buoyant after the Daniel fuckwittage debacle.

I kept saying the words, Self-respect and Huh over and over till I was dizzy, trying to barrage out, But I lurrrve him. Smoking was v. bad. Apparently there is a Martin Amis character who is so crazily addicted that he starts wanting a cigarette even when hes smoking one. Thats me. It was good ringing up Sharon to boast about being Mrs Iron Knickers but when I rang Tom he saw straight through it and said, Oh, my poor darling, which made me go silent trying not to burst into self-pitying tears.

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