The motor stalled in the middle of a snowy landscape, lodged in a rut, wouldnt budge an inch. How I swore! Id planned to be snug in front of a roaring fire, by now, a single malt on the mahogany wine-table (a connoisseurs piece) beside me, the five courses of Melissas dinner savourously aromatising the kitchen; to complete the decor, a labrador retrievers head laid on my knee as trustingly as if I were indeed a country gentleman and lolled by rights among the chintz. After dinner, before I read our customary pre-coital poetry aloud to her, my elegant and accomplished mistress, also a connoisseurs piece, might play the piano for her part-time pasha while I sipped black, acrid coffee from her precious little cups.

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