THURSDAY, JULY 6, 1944

Dearest Kitty,

My blood runs cold when Peter talks about becoming a criminal or a speculator; of course, hes joking, but I still have the feeling hes afraid of his own weakness.

Margot and Peter are always saying to me, "If I had your spunk and your strength, if I had your drive and unflagging energy, could. . .

Is it really such an admirable trait not to let myself be influenced by others? Am I right in following my own conscience?

To be honest, I cant imagine how anyone could say "Im weak" and then stay that way. If you know that about yourself, why not fight it, why not develop your character? Their answer has always been: "Because its much easier not to!" This reply leaves me feeling rather discouraged. Easy? Does that mean a life of deceit and laziness is easy too? Oh no, that cant be true. It cant be true that people are so readily tempted by ease. . . and money. Ive given a lot of thought to what my answer should be, to how I should get Peter to believe in himself and, most of all, to change himself for the better. I dont know whether Im on the right track.

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